(AND WHY ARE PEOPLE LAUGHING ALL THE TIME?)
The CAMERA is HERE.
And people have been talking and dancing in its presence.
Question for Jared:
“What do you think stands between people and their ideal life?”
“The Clown Show is becoming a Circus.”
Fact #1 about life around here:
The clown show is MESSY.
Of the six people that I’ve interviewed in these first ten days of filming, not one has not dealt with some sort of personal mess at Mokabes.
“I must be missing the secret to life.”
“I bought a house for the bitch.”
Regarding a first time at MoKaBe’s:
“I think I scared her. She was reading and I was like…can I sit here?”
Regarding barista dating (or break-ups):
“We made everyone miserable. Everyone here, and everyone walking in the door. We’d be slamming refrigerators, crying, and yelling. Well, mostly I’d cry, and she’d yell.”
Regarding queer life:
“And people say bi, trans, gay, but we’re just queer. We’re all one queer community.”
Regarding friends at MoKaBe’s (social life of this world in general):
“Everyone I’m friends with? I met at Mokabe’s.”
And FOR all the messiness of the “Clown Show.” (Term used wisely by Jared.)…
People are happy.
What? Happy? People are Happy in Missouri? People are Happy here? Histoplasmosis, dirty river, gang activity, murder capital, syphilis capital, the arch!
I don’t know how to do math and I haven’t done any statistical research, and I don’t really know EXACTLY what I mean by HAPPY, but I’ve noticed…I think noticed…that when I ask people what would be the happiest life that they could imagine…it’s very much like the one they already have.
IS THIS THE SECRET OF THE WHOLE UNIVERSE?
Are the queers of South Grand weirdly happy?
You wouldn’t think it.
I really would not have thought it.
For example, I think I was pretty sad for an entire YEAR when I was coming into my queer identity.
So…sometimes when I think of people of any age grappling with (or just existing in) their homosexual identity, I think of:
Angst, stalkerish tendencies, proclivity for dramatized storytelling, chain smoking in the bathtub, pet ownership as an attempt to mitigate loneliness, and...crying in restaurants.
Apparently, this...is just me. (Or was).
At MoKaBe's, often (really often), Ronnie says:
"Liza. Why are you smiling? Liza. Stop smiling."
Because it seems the ‘mos at MoKaBe’s. Are like…pretty okay with their lives.
They especially love their friends.
“ALL OF OUR FRIENDS ARE SO FUCKING ATTRACTIVE.”
And St. Louis? It’s so for real.
“This is St. Louis. This Shit Is Real.”
I will say that I’ve seen three people from this community cry in the past five days. (One on camera). It seems to me that since I've been back in STL with my tiny camera, smelly TOMS, and really out-of-control-long bangs, a lot has happened. Things don't change, but everything moves fast. I don't get it. It's been eventful, fun, full of dancing and touching my face in moments of discomfort. So while the CLOWN SHOW IS BECOMING A CIRCUS…
Who doesn’t like the circus?
So…as for mess part of the circus…here’s the title of the week:
“If there was a film made about your life, what would it be called?”
“WHERE DID I LEAVE MY SHOES.”